


Change Comes Slowly

by Diam_Senpai



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: But that doesn't matter., Child Neglect, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Natsume deserves better, Natsume is my baby, Past Verbal Abuse, Tanuma is a sweet boyfriend., Who's not really his boyfriend yet.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 15:04:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13250748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diam_Senpai/pseuds/Diam_Senpai
Summary: Sometimes he came home with scratches. Sometimes his clothes were dirty. Sometimes he simply couldn’t think of a lie and refused to tell Touko what happened. She always sighed sweetly and helped him clean up. Natsume felt guilt seep into him every time.





	Change Comes Slowly

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm giant Natsume trash.  
> I watched all six seasons and every single special in six days. I watched a season per day.  
> I wish I was kidding you, I love this show that much.
> 
> I have read almost every single Natsume fic with similar feelings to this and I've never failed to cry. So when a week later, Natsume wouldn't leave my head, even though I was in the middle of Code Geass I knew I had to write something for it.
> 
> This is honestly just me being a fangirl, but I hope I did good, as I wrote it in like two hours, with little to no editing.
> 
> Hope you enjoy it anyway.
> 
> Maybe now I can get chapter five of Love in the Contest Hall written.

Natsume was used to leaving or being left. He truly thought that the people were nice. They were nice to their own kids. It was his fault. He was a burden; an unruly lying child who did nothing but take food and space. Eventually, he stopped being sad about it. He learned to live with it, learned a system. Move in, never unpack, be as invisible as possible, and wait for the day they didn’t want him anymore. It always happened. There was always that one yokai that he simply couldn’t ignore and he ended up causing a ruckus. There was always the incident that sent him away.

Some of them were trying to be nice about it, “We’d keep you if we could, but we simply can’t afford it. You understand don’t you?” Natsume would always just nod.

Some of them weren’t so nice about it. “Now you little brat, don’t cause trouble for them too. No one is going to want you at this rate.” Natsume just nodded with his usual downcast expression.

Despite the few nice kids who just eventually distranged themselves from him he never had many friends. There were a few nice yokai, mostly small and harmless but never worth a friendship. No yokai wanted to be friends with a human. He was constantly running, keeping his head down, avoiding eye contact at all costs. He did the same thing with classmates.

“He’s such a weirdo.”

“He doesn’t talk to anyone.”

“He probably moves so much because no one loves him.”

“He tells these creepy stories.”

“Are you sure he’s not crazy?”

Natsume tried to ignore it to the best of his abilities, but he honestly just wished someone would listen to him.

That was when he met Touko Fujiwara. She was a kind lady, with a nice smile and good intentions. He honestly wanted to believe her when she asked him to live with her, but the eagerness to take care of him always faded after a few days. She would eventually regret it. He tried to forget her calm face and awkward but endearing wave. 

So when he woke up in the hospital a week later with the same face staring back at him, he couldn’t help freaking out a bit. He would have sat up straight had his back not been protesting so much. Mrs. Fujiwara had so much concern in her eyes, and her husband, Mr. Fujiwara, had a kind expression. Then they brought up the question again. Would he like to live with them? Despite all doubts he’s been taught to think he couldn’t help but say yes. Who wouldn’t? The current yokai ordeal was over with, and Natsume wanted to start again. It might have been the thirtieth refresh but this time it felt different.

When he arrived at the Fujiwara household it felt refreshing yet kind of empty. He hadn’t been to the countryside in a while, but he could tell the house was just a bit to big for them. Mrs. Fujiwara walked up next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “I think the house just got a bit fuller. Come on in, we’ll make some lunch.”

Natsume gaped at her. She had basically welcomed him as a permanent member, or at least that’s how it was implied. She also said “we’ll.” They were going to make lunch together. She wasn’t going to leave him to his own devices, and it was even her idea. He smiled despite his still constant fear. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Eventually Mrs. Fujiwara turned into Touko. Mr. Fujiwara turned into Shigeru. He got more comfortable. He didn’t unpack his boxes yet. He felt he wouldn’t for some time. But the smile he received when he first called her Touko filled him with warmth.

Sometimes he came home with scratches. Sometimes his clothes were dirty. Sometimes he simply couldn’t think of a lie and refused to tell Touko what happened. She always sighed sweetly and helped him clean up. Natsume felt guilt seep into him every time.

He hated causing trouble. He hated being a burden. If there was one thing he learned over the years, sick kids we’re always burdens, that is if you’re not their actual kid. It’s fine if the other kids get sick. Their parents will even take time off work for them. However, the moment he had even a slight fever it was always:

“Really? I don’t have time for this.”

“I don’t have the money to buy medicine for you.”

“Ugh, such a nuisance.”

Natsume shook his head at the memories and stared at himself in the mirror. Despite the flush on his face and the sweat sticking to his skin, he wouldn’t bother Touko. He absolutely refused to ruin this chance at a normal life this time. He’d just sleep through most of the school day and hope he didn’t have to deal with any crazy yokai that day.

However the moment he entered the dining room with an accidental stumble, Touko was right there next to him. She noticed his tired eyes and put a hand to his forehead. Natsume just looked down in defeat. She patted his cheek lightly. “Get back to bed Takashi. No way you’re going to school like this.”

“I’m fine Touko, you don’t need-”  
Touko gave him a hard stare. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” 

Natsume felt his mouth snap shut at the change in her. Her stare softened into her normal kind self. “I don’t know exactly what you’ve been told as a child, but I’m sure little to none of it is true. It’s not going to bother me to take care you. You’re a kind child Takashi, you don’t need to suffer for fear of worrying me.”

Natsume melted at words and felt his legs give out beneath him. She helped Natsume back to his warm futon and proceeded to dote on him for the rest of the day. She constantly changed the wet towel on his head, made him soup and medicine, comforted him when he vomited the one time.

Natsume couldn’t help but wonder if that was what it felt like to have a mother. He only realized he said that aloud when he caught a glimpse of Touko’s tears as she hugged him.

He started unpacking his boxes the moment he was up to it, starting with his clothes. When Shigeru walked in later to see a sleeping Natsume and his desk topped with his possessions, he couldn’t stop the smile working its way on his lips. He went downstairs to tell Touko he was definitely staying.

Natsume had come home with scratches and a filthy uniform again, except this time he had a cat. Perched in his arms was a chubby calico cat with a round face, and it seemed to stare right through her. Natsume blushed and looked down at his shoes. “I found him near the shrine.” True. “He was by himself.” Mostly true. “I couldn’t bare to leave him.” Definitely not true but there was no other option. “I’m sorry if we can’t keep him, but-”

He didn’t have a chance to finish as Touko reached over to scratch under the cat’s chin. “Of course we can keep him. He’s so adorable.” She glanced back up at Natsume. “What’s his name?”

Natsume couldn’t help the small smile at the nickname he had for Madara. “Nyanko-sensei.” Touko thought it was funny too, much to Madara’s dismay.

Life seemed to settle down. He started to feel at home with the Fujiwara’s. The Book of Friends refreshed him, seemed to give him a purpose. He couldn’t help but feel a little cured everytime he gave a name back, despite the almost instantaneous exhaustion that came with it. He even made friends in the forms of Kitamoto, Nishimura, Taki, and Tanuma.

Kitamoto and Nishimura were a breath of fresh air. They were always moving, always had something to say. They kept Natsume in motion, and he appreciated them for it. They always made room for him, enjoyed his company despite its silence most of the time. He truly liked them, and they liked him, even when he acted weird due to a yokai.

Taki was a bit different. She was kind and awkward, two words Shigeru often used to describe him. She was outgoing, and despite not having the sight was always willing to help with his yokai problems, especially since he couldn’t tell Kitamoto and Nishimura about it. She was helpful, yet sarcastic and playful. Natsume found the thought “It’s almost like I have a sister,” float through his head from time to time, and he was totally okay with that.

If Taki was different, Tanuma was ten times different. He also knew about the yokai despite having no sight, being able to sense them and maybe see their shadows on a good day. Where Taki was always willing to help but respected his boundaries, Tanuma broke them. He respected Natsume’s need for distance, yet he knew when enough was enough, and Natsume never could keep anything from him.

His first breakdown in five months happened while Tanuma was over at his house. He had recently recovered from another sickness, and his memories had been swarming his brain the entire time. They were keeping him from sleeping and blanketing him in a depressing fog that refused to leave him. So when Tanuma had come to check on him, and showed even the slightest bit of concern, Natsume fell forward into his chest to sob. 

All of his self control he built over the years left whenever Tanuma was around. The younger male had a way around his walls, and was always willing to help him after they fell. He collected Natsume against him, not asking what happened, but merely rubbing his back and offering comforting words. 

Touko wasn’t back yet, otherwise Natsume would never have started crying as loudly as he had. He lifted one of his hands to trail through Natsume’s hair. He had never seen Natsume lose himself like this, and he couldn’t help the stabs at his heart as the beautiful boy cried his heart out.

Eventually the sobs subsided and became hiccups. Natsume could feel himself talking to Tanuma, it always felt better to do that. He couldn’t register what he was saying. He was most likely talking about his childhood, how no one had cared for him, how scared he was of his current life vanishing. It was his biggest fear, that now, at his happiest, it would all just be taken from him and he’d be left alone again. 

That thought always made Tanuma sad, and he personally wanted to destroy all of Natsume’s previous relatives. 

Natsume fell asleep with his arms wrapped around Tanuma’s torso, and a peaceful smile on his face. Nyanko-sensei walked over, having set himself out of the moment in respect, and curled into Natsume’s side. “I have to thank you for coming over.” he mumbled as he laid his head in between his paws. “I think that’s the first true smile he’s had in days.” Tanuma let that information register as the fortune cat was lulled into a deep slumber. 

Shigeru and Touko walked in an hour later to see the two boys and cat curled up next to each other. Touko tiptoed over and fixed their blanket, yet none of them woke to spot the fond smile at her face. “We’re home Takashi dear.”

**Author's Note:**

> SEASON 7 WHEN?!!!


End file.
